Medical School - Update #1

My journey to medical school is still ongoing, so I'll explain where I'm at first and then I'll explain how I got here. Currently, I'm working on my applications, which I plan to submit right before October 1st (the first deadline for a few schools). I'm scrambling to get letters of recommendation, which I know I should have been working on for a long time, and I just signed up today for "Organic Chemistry 1 Lab" at a local community college in the hopes that it may improve my chances of acceptance even though it'll be labeled as an "in progress/future" course. I haven't written my Personal Statement yet, so I'm planning to complete that within the next week. On top of all that, I'm still a graduate student, so I have 11 credits of graduate courses to focus on this semester. Does it sound crazy? That's because it is.

Look, I'm trying my best. Let me explain how I got here. 

Medical school was something I always thought about, even from a young age, but I lost my steam around the middle of my undergraduate. I began dual-enrollment at the age of 14 (my first class was the day before my fifteenth birthday), so there were several years during which I took only two classes each semester. I was young and, as a result, not too knowledgeable about the importance of gaining shadowing experience early on if I was serious about medical school. Also, I was a more creative student with a wide variety of interests, and my interest in environmental science (ornithology, specifically) grew more rapidly than my interest in medical school. My mom, always looking for opportunities for me (thanks Mom 😊), contacted the ornithology lab at the university where I was dual-enrolled and, at the age of 15, I was tagging along with a graduate student who was researching wood storks! It was an amazing experience, and it set me on the route of environmental research. 

From there, I'll admit, I waffled a bit. I never stopped my education or gave up on anything, but my plans kept changing and I became very indecisive. I wanted to be a biologist, then a veterinarian (I even interned at a veterinary clinic for a semester, and at a dairy for an entire summer), then a nurse (I was even accepted to a nursing program at a community college), then an environmental researcher. I simply couldn't decide. 

In my defense, I never closed a door. Even when I declined entrance to that nursing program, I chose to continue my bachelor degree instead. The COVID-19 pandemic (I hate using this as an excuse, but it did play a significant role in several decisions) did the most door-closing. Classes from then on were mostly online, which is still making it hard to get letters of recommendation. Medical schools typically require either a committee packet of letters (which I do not have and cannot get) or 2-3 letters from "professors who have taught you in a science course". Well, those science professors are hard to get. I tried very hard to attend online office hours, make an impression through emails, and submit the most unique assignments. Even with all of those efforts, I have only 1 of those letters. God willing, one of the others may reply affirmatively to my emails before the deadline to submit the applications. In addition to that, the pandemic also resulted in a lack of shadowing opportunities. I was inspired by the doctors and nurses who worked endlessly during the pandemic, so I was taking a second look at medical school around then. However, I quickly grew discouraged when I was told over and over that, because of the pandemic, no one was taking volunteers. Once again, I decided that medical school wasn't in my future, so I began to explore other options. [Side note: I also, technically, graduated from high school in May of 2020, but I had been early-admitted to college and taking full-time classes for two semesters by then.] 

Two years after the pandemic, I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Biological Sciences with a Minor in French and an Undergraduate Certificate in Environmental Science in December of 2022. Yes, I am well aware that is quite a mouthful. Can you imagine me explaining that to all the proud relatives? It's still...fun. 

So, I graduated (praise God!), and with a 3.875 GPA. For some reason (and I'm still trying to remember why), I suddenly chose to pursue medical school again. My parents bought an MCAT prep course and I spent the entire spring of 2023 (I still classify time in "semesters") studying for that exam. I took a part time job as a PE coach (which was awesome - I love working with kids) to make a little income. [Side note: over my college career, I had taken several jobs (tutor at the university, the veterinary internship, the dairy internship)] Around the middle of spring, I went on a medical mission trip to Nicaragua. It was less than a week long, but the experience was invaluable. I met people who lived in such poverty that their houses were made of earth and they drew water from a well. The bit of medical care that the mission clinic provides is the only medical care available to these people. In fact, one village that we visited was so remote that it took us hours to travel there and I then learned that the clinic that had to travel so far was, again, the only available medical care for these people. I realized, through that trip, that even though I cannot fix the entire problem of medical care availability, I can still make a huge difference in the lives of some people.

At the end of the spring, I took the MCAT and scored a 500. If you're not familiar with the score range, I scored exactly at the 50/50 mark. The MCAT is scored from a 472 to a 528, so I got the exact middle score. It's not a great score, but it's not horrible. It's a better-than-bad-but-worse-than-good score. 

Over the summer of 2023, I went on a mission trip that was much longer - it lasted the entire summer, from the end of May to the beginning of August. Technically it was a job, since I was paid a little bit, but that was mostly used for my personal necessities. The organization leads mission trips for middle and high school students, who build construction projects (decks, ramps for people with disabilities, painting, etc.) for underprivileged members of the community. I was employed as a camp counselor, so I was one of five people in charge of a camp of 100+ (sometimes closer to 200) people. The groups came for a week, so we had new groups each week. I led chapel some nights, gave construction directions on the mission sites (I had training for this first), helped serve meals, cleaned the rooms, made materials lists for the sites, went shopping for groceries and materials each week, and essentially ran a fifth of the operation. I was up until midnight every night and woke up at 6am each morning. It was a crazy summer. 

The fall of 2023 was the first break I've ever taken in my life. Discouraged by my MCAT score and lack of any clinical shadowing experience, I gave up on medical school again. Also, my transcripts lacked 3 almost-essential courses: Biochemistry and the two labs for Organic Chemistry 1 and 2 (I had taken both lectures for Organic Chemistry 1 and 2, but not the labs, since they were not required for my degree). As a result, I spent that fall applying to masters programs and indulging in my favorite hobby (you guessed it - creative writing!). I wrote a lot that fall, spent time with my family, applied to graduate programs, and hung out.

By the end of fall, I was sick of doing nothing. By God's grace, I was accepted into the University of Florida's online Master of Science in Microbiology and Cell Science program! So, I began those courses in the spring of 2024. Since I had dual-enrolled and, as a result, had leftover credits in my Bright Futures scholarship, I took 15 credits to maximize those benefits. It essentially worked like this: Bright Futures (a full-ride scholarship in Florida) will pay for a certain number of credits, typically the amount to get a 4-year degree (if you go over the maximum credit hours, such as to get a double major, then you have to pay the difference). However, I got a head start on my degree through dual-enrollment, so I only started using my Bright Futures scholarship when I started full-time (through early admittance). By the time I started full-time and used the scholarship, I had the equivalence of about a year or so of college work completed. Hence, when I graduated with my bachelor's degree, I had a lot of leftover credits that Bright Futures could have paid for. Now, Bright Futures has a sweet little added bonus wherein, if you have a certain number of leftover credits when you graduate, then they'll pay for half of the tuition of your first semester of graduate courses at the undergraduate rate. As a result, it made sense for me to take as many credits as possible in my first semester, so I could max out that deal. This led to me taking 15 credits of graduate courses. 

It was a ton of work and, on top of that, I began volunteered at a local microbiology laboratory [note: this lab is associated with my university and now I'm taking a class taught by the professor who owns the lab and under whom I've been working!] one day a week. It was a VERY busy schedule, but worth it. I finished that semester with a 3.26 GPA and about half of my master's degree completed. Oh, and I had taken the one course that I'd been dreading for ages: biochemistry. By God's grace (and only that - my success was NONE of my doing), I passed that class with a way-better-than-expected grade (B) and, in doing so, satisfied an important medical school requirement. 

When the summer of 2024 arrived, I needed a breath of fresh air and a little break from school. I had applied for an internship and (also by God's grace alone), I got in! I moved up to Washington D.C. for the summer and my sister moved with me, since she was working remotely and has always loved big cities. During the days, she would stay at the AirBnB, get her hours in, then catch the bus and metro into the city. On some weekends, she'd travel to NYC or fly home for a family trip to the Florida Keys. I worked hard at my microbiology/immunology internship, gaining a TON of experience, networking, and learning to research. It was also a well-paid internship, so that was a nice bonus - experience and income. In my free time in the evening, my sister and I would binge-watch a show, see a free Christian concert, do our grocery shopping, or get some exercise. On the weekends, we would typically hang out with some cousins who lived an hour away (that was my favorite part of the summer - we saw our cousins every weekend whereas, otherwise, we might see them once a year). 

This internship also provided an awesome addition to my resume and list of experience. Although I lack clinical shadowing or scribing hours, I have hundreds (about 400) hours of experience in a research laboratory. 

Now, it's the fall of 2024. I returned from my internship and I've been crazily filling out my medical school applications. I have the benefits of my high GPAs, a constant schedule of classes of work (except for the fall of 2023), those hundreds of hours of research lab experience, and a 500 MCAT. The negatives that hold me back are a lack of clinical/shadowing experience, the organic chemistry labs that I never took (I took the lectures, just not the labs), and...that 500 MCAT. My MCAT score is neither great nor horrible. I'm not sure how that'll work for me. As for those organic chemistry labs...

Yesterday, on my way home from a family breakfast at Chick-fil-A (a post-voting celebration), I had the sudden idea that I might be able to take the first (of two) organic chemistry labs this very semester. There's a college nearby my house that is really easy for a non-degree-seeking student to take a class at (I was previously enrolled there for this same reason, but never actually took the class) so, when I got home, I spent the rest of the day re-enrolling, sending in my transcripts, and emailing advisors to get admitted. It's still add/drop week, but since my last activity on that school account was over a year ago, I had to re-apply. It was insane, because EVERYONE is contacting the admissions and advising offices this week (add/drop week). Yet God (I love that phrase) was with me. In a single day, I was re-enrolled, re-admitted, my transcripts processed, my holds removed, and override administered (the lab class needs to be taken simultaneously with the lecture, but I had already taken the lecture at another university, so I needed an override to remove that co-class requirement), and I was registered for the organic chemistry lab. On top of all those blessings, this particular organic chemistry lab is a shortened version of the class, so I have two whole weeks until it starts, and it ends at least a full week before my graduate courses' finals are scheduled. 

Oh yeah, I'm also taking 11 credits of graduate courses this semester, and I'm returning to the local microbiology laboratory one day a week, where I'll be working under the professor for a class I'll be taking this semester. Once again, it's going to be a crazy semester, but it's a blessed semester. 

In case you were wondering: no, I won't finish the organic chemistry lab class before I submit my medical school applications. However, the application allows me to list "current/future courses". A few medical schools (that I otherwise would have ruled out due to the organic chemistry lab requirement) allow "courses that will be completed before matriculation" even if they're not completed at the time of the application. Since I plan to take the second organic chemistry lab in the spring (2025) and matriculate into medical school in the fall (2025, if accepted), then I can list BOTH of those labs as "current/future courses" on my application, and then apply to a wider range of medical schools. 

As a backup plan, if I am not accepted into medical school this time around, then I plan to re-apply next year (apply in 2025, matriculate in 2026) and, by then, I'll have finished both organic chemistry labs and I'll have a lot more laboratory experience (and I'll plan to re-take the MCAT, so hopefully I'll have a higher score), so my chances will be much better. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

Of course, seek the Lord's will in every decision. I've learned that God doesn't give all of the answers all at once. He gives answers and direction, but usually just enough to help me make the next step. For now, He opened the door to take that lab, to continue my graduate courses, and to apply to medical school, so I'm trusting Him in those decisions. Yet, this doesn't mean that I'll get into medical school this time, and I've made peace with that. I understand that God may have other plans for me, but that everything I do now, since I'm asking God's blessings on it, will have some role to play in my future. 

The future is never what we expect. Five years ago, if you had asked me to guess what I'd be doing now, I would say something like "oh, I'll be married, I'll have a child or be expecting one or be adopting one, and I might have a job if we need a double income!" To be honest, I've gone through a lot of inner turmoil as I ask God why I don't even have stable friends yet, much less a boyfriend or a husband or a family. Not to be dramatic, but I've shed quite a few tears over this and I've gone through some depressive slumps. Yet God has been gracious to me. He's guided me through those dark moments and He's shown me, in many big and small ways, that He has a plan for me. It's certainly not the plan I envisioned, but I continue to learn how to trust Him. Joy is not conditional on our circumstances. Joy is a choice. It's a choice I need to make constantly, every day, in every situation. Some days it's easier than others, and some days I give up and allow myself to drop into depression again. Yet God has always brought me through it, into the light. 

I've come to a point in my journey of spiritual maturity where I can recognize my "slump" when it happens. I am able to think "okay, we've been here before, and we've gotten through this before, with God's help". When this happens, I know how to get out of the slump, but the new challenge I'm facing is that, sometimes, I just don't want to. Does this make sense? Sometimes, when I'm so exhausted with the stress and anxiety and conflict and chaos, I find it easier (and, in a way, comforting) to slip into a depressive slump than to put in the effort to climb out of it. 

I had a few days recently where this happened. I was getting discouraged with my applications, anxious because I was returning to in-person church for the first time in months (I'd watched online services all summer), hurt by a lot of little things that happened in a day, depressed because of my lack of a social life, and physically ill because of something stupid (I had too much caffeine that morning, then 'crashed' in the afternoon). I knew how to climb out of this spiraling situation, but all of these things just exhausted me. It was easier to succumb to depression than to fight it. 

Then, I hit my breaking point. You know where? Church. I was a couple minutes late to join my family in the sanctuary and, to my dismay, they'd chosen seats very near the front of the gigantic mega-church sanctuary. Even worse, some people I know (and trust and love! but still...) were sitting right behind us. So, in addition to my boiling inner pot of emotions, my social anxiety spiked. We didn't even get through the second song when I broke. I knew it was happening, so I bolted. I made it halfway back the aisle before I melted into sobs (thank God they dim the lights during the songs). I cried for about twenty minutes in the bathroom.

You know what happened then? Consider the Israelites in the desert: it took a great fall for them to return to God. I can relate to them in many ways, but especially in this one, which seems to be a theme of my life. Draw near, fall away, crash, draw near, fall away, crash... Over and over. Well, once I'd had a good cry, I finally took action. I texted a Christian friend (who had, unfortunately, moved away months ago) and asked for help. She gave me some advice, then I spent some time with God, and humbled myself. Then, I gathered my courage, swallowed my pride, and walked back into the now-quiet-and-well-lit sanctuary, past all the people I'd run past in tears. 

After church, I talked to my mom about what happened, and she made it clear that it wasn't a big deal and that the best thing I could do was to let it go (cue the Frozen song). It took a few days for me to draw near to God again, get back into His Word, and guess what? Once I did, doors opened and peace returned. 

I feel confident and content again, secure in the knowledge that God is in control and that, if I trust Him, He will guide me through every day and each decision. I have a purpose, and I know that God will reveal it to me in the appointed time. It's comforting to know that I'm not in control, but that Someone far greater and wiser and stronger and Holy will handle everything. I need only to follow His guidance to take the next step, and trust that the step after that will be revealed in due time. 

Well, I suppose I should wrap up this book of an update, LOL! I hope any who reads this has a blessed day and finds peace knowing that God is in control. Peace! 

A man’s heart plans his way,

But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9